Pre-departure Concert day

I look terrible with my make-up. Probably because my face is still swollen from the drug's side effects. No one would have guess I was performing under a relapse. My ankles and thighs were swollen with water; under normal circumstances, I would think I am crazy and overboard. But there were too much to lose if there wasn't any risk. And I am just glad I did.

Our concert day coincides with my mom's birthday. I felt very sorry to have dragged my mom from home to watch me perform. But I am really glad she was all smiles at the end of the concert and thankful that my sisters managed to bring my mom to shop at Ion before coming to watch my horrendous dance steps.

I hugged every one of them including Tuty and Ben who turned up. Thankful to Ben for ferrying my folks around and Tuty for being the best photographer I know.

Glad and thankful

More often than not, I tend to put my family as a lower priority to entertain. I would tend to joke lesser with my parents and sisters. This is because, I am contented and very thankful that my family is a big and warm family and there isn't anything that we need urgently (maybe more money) and I always feel a need for me to share what I have with my friends to spread my joy.

16 oct is my mom's birthday which coincides with my pre-departure concert; I felt really guilty of being unable to produce the cake I have intended for; so much so that it affected half of my performance. Along with 2 of my best friends who couldn't make it to my PDC; it was only when it reached Getai performance that I realize that my priorities for that day was wrong. I should have prioritise my family's entertainment as the utmost priority.

My ankle and knee joints were really aching; my high blood pressure is causing the anxiety and nervousness to mount. I am starting to panic; but somewhat I felt nostalgic about this feeling. As I set my priorities right, I felt that this is the time to concentrate and focused. At the end of the day, I know that I have made my mom smile and I think that is a reasonable reward for all the shit I went through.

Imploding and exploding; which is scarier?

There has been some conflicts among the people in my different social networks. Personally; it is another field experiment to observe the wonders and interactions of human science. Till this date, I managed to make one discovery; which is, "anger is something you can't lose by losing it."

I managed to observe that girls then to implode while guys would prefer exploding. I don't think this is behavior engineered by genes, but rather a cultural disorder that Asians have.

Individually, I do not think that explosive anger is scary at all; (maybe because, no angry guy has touched me and left the building alive) Emotions that surfaces aren't as scary as hidden emotions. Implosive behavior on the other hand is very very unhealthy. Although under certain social circumstances; we are STRONGLY encourage not to flare up; I still feel that it is unhealthy to the mind for a person to swallow his/ her anger.

In addition; there is a possibility that the person would continue to have this recessive line of thoughts which could probably lead to some health problems. Just picture a person who has the ability to explode; would he implode or just explode?

Lose knee

I injured my knee during one of the dance steps while lifting up a girl and now my knee gives out a loud crack sound when it bends from 180 degrees to 130 degrees. Sometimes it would locked itself and prevent me from walking. I think both my elder sister and me has brought our dad's name to shame. My elder sister broke her leg while she was dancing tango; and me, an injury for just a simple move. Our dad used to be a folk dance instructor at a CC and I am sure he might puke blood if he sees any one of us dancing.

This bloody knee sure hurts a lot; gives me the temptation to disown it; but I will and must endure. Others like YiNing and Sasi have been great examples of enduring; I must learn from them.

I just need some one to tell me that I am doing fine.

True Story from the states

It was some years back when this happened; it is a true story and a very touching one. This happened in the countryside of America. A woman who was just wedded just found out she is pregnant. Her husband thanked her while she, in turn, thanked the gods.

On this very fateful day; she needed to get some groceries from town while her husband is out for work. She went ahead and drove to town by herself. Halfway through, she met an accident. She was admitted to the hospital immediately and was announced brain dead after all the diagnosing. Fortunately, the part of the brain that handles all the autonomous functions is still intact; which means the baby still has a chance of surviving.

Days and months go by and finally the fateful day of the delivery came. As the wife is unconscious, she has to undergo a surgery to deliver the baby. The doctors and surgeons held on with cold sweat; they work hard for 30 over hours. Finally, the baby was born.

(here comes the most touching part)

Upon hearing the baby's first cry, the wife smiled.


Sadly, this story doesn't have a happy ending. The husband, with much tears, signed the papers to 'return' his wife to the heavens. Since then, much controversy has been going on that despite losing all the higher cognitive functions such as emotions and thinking; there is still some residue brain or memory that allowed her to express herself for the last time.

Once again; the power of the human brain awed me.

Woman - a smile so scary

There has always been theis saying that Hell hath no fire like a woman's scorn. Looks like even hades couldn't handle a woman. =)

I learnt that a woman smiling does not means that she is happy. She could be smiling and laughing while what she is actually thinking is the complete opposite. These are the kind of high-level stuff that guys find it hard to do as it is in our hormones and genes that we show what we feel. Thus, women are better hypocrites and backstabbers. =)

In asian context, a woman's reply "anything" is a man's most feared answer. The previous statement is self-explanatory. =) For the guys who still doesn's have a clue on what it means; go find out on your own. =P

Men VS Women

All these are facts taught to me:
In the cold: Women would have stronger resistance in cold weather (i heard was because of more arm fats under the biceps?).

In the wild: Women has better spatial memory. From the view of evolution, it was probably because the men's ancestors were always out on the field sticking their spears into something and then run away for another 3 days before that particular something drops dead and carried i back to their camp; whereas women are always in camp. Thus, their(women) memory of the surroundings (around the camp) is better.

In general: on average a woman speaks 5000 words a day; compared to a man who, on average speaks 2000 words. I personally think this has got something to do with our ancestors again. Men are out hunting in the wild; we can afford to talk much; whereas women are always at the camp site. nothing to do --> talk, that is why =|. But we all know that neither the 5000 or the 2000 words are all meaningful words. =)

Man has more neurons while women has more synapses. In other words, we (men) tends to think more, while women has better memory. That is why we often has the scenario like having a woman saying,"you promised last saturday, 3pm at orchard road that you would take me out on a dinner date to Carlton hotel."

Then the guy pause to think and continued to think for the next half an hour before finally saying,"oh?"